Braving Motherhood w/my 19 month old son Aiden and 7 month old daughter Keeley

What else can go wrong to cost me more money?!

What am I to do when I can't seem to make a constant effort and tom's effort stays at the same level. In all honesty he does clean... but not like he should be considering he's home all the time. He expected 300 times more from me. The tub needs to be scrubbed, the bathroom floor needs to be cleaned, the front room needs to be picked and vacuumed and everything needs to be organized but the kitchen. The kitchen is pretty consistently clean at least when anything gets cleaned that always does. But the front room is rarely vacuumed and never really thoroughly done because there is always something cluttering the stuff that needs to be moved and vacuumed behind. i feel like I live in a pigsty and it's not all his fault but I just can;t seem to motivate myself when I realize how much crap really needs to be done and even making a dent seems to take forever... getting any appreciation for it never seems to happen at all.

But right now I need to stop venting and just go clean because I know I have ants in the carpet in one area and plenty to pickup and I just can't stand it anymore. I am going to get things as clean as possible tonight even if it means that's all I can get done.

What could be worse than sitting just across the room from someone in your own apartment and not feeling like you are allowed to share a passing joke or something you read on the internet? Ok yes there are many things that could be a lot worse... but it's a horrible feeling.

We didn't have a fight... but he's sitting at his computer playing a video game with his headphones on and my little jokes or comments are nothing but an interruption and an annoyance to him because he has to move his headphones off his ears.

I have a couple links to some business opportunities that I would like to be looking into right now but they are on his computer and he can't take a second to email them to me...

What am I? I am Jack's cold sense of rejection...

He's always busy with something and when it doesn't involve sex... it doesn't involve me.

Why don't I want to have sex with you, honey? Hmm... yeah let's think about this for a second and not ask the stupidest question in the world!

We bought a car Monday October 5th, 2009. It's a black supercharged 1998 Boneville. Needed a decent amount of work. Needed breaks and a new hub before they could even drive it to Rob's and they were able to do that work at the owner's house instead of towing it because it was my SIL's fiancee that sold it to us. It also needed a sway bar line(not sure if that's right?), heater core, new windshield, new side view mirrors, new tires, and a new a/c system... and that's just the stuff I remember. But it's a running car with a decent amount of room and the body only has two small rust spots on it. Tom and his brother already got it up and running well enough for Tom to get to his job interview today.

http://www.facebook.com/editphoto.php?aid=158311&success=2&failure=0#/album.php?aid=158311&id=580392278

Speaking of his interview... He got an interview with peterson springs or something like that for an IT coordinator job that he knows he could do but he didn't actually meet the qualifications and he knew that when he applied. They called him in for an interview anyways! He even discussed it with the woman who setup the interview and she said to come in anyways. They want a bachelor's degree and experience in that position and he doesn't have either of those. So hopefully he'll get it for the sheer fact that anyone with a degree and experience in that is going to be asking for more than 45 to 50 grand a year and we already know that's all they are offering.

Keeley went pee on her potty today again... it's not consistent but heck she's not even 2 and she is cruising along with her interest in using the potty. Plus I'm working all the time still so this is without much encouragement or coaxing from me because when I am home I generally don't have the energy to work with her much. She keeps asking to use the toilet but I can't let her have free access to the bathroom so I told her that the toilet is a privilege for little girls who are fully potty trained on the potty first. She said "okay" and immediately sat down on her potty when I told her that. So maybe that motivation will work for her because she really likes sitting on the toilet lol.

Aiden has not had any setbacks in potty training lately... I just need to get him to start wiping himself after he uses the potty... right now he just kinda smears poop around when he tries to wipe himself so I'm always asking if he went poop or not so I can make sure I clean him up. I don't know if tom has been doing the same or not...

The days are just flying by and any day now Keeley will be 2 and Aiden will be 3. I am only working until october 30th then I am going to be helping pack and prepare the apartment and house for the move. We have to move into the house in taylor at least one week early so there will be enough time for us to clean the walls and carpets and floors and just in general make sure we get our deposit back. We need to plaster a couple spots like behind the couch and on aiden's wall where he "hurt the wall" with "the hammerrrr" and despite what tom thinks I think we are going to have to repaint at least in the living room and Aiden's room.

As for Aiden and Keeley's birthday we are doing a get together to save money and just planning on a real party with guests and everything in january once we are all settled in and the big holidays are over with. Basically it'll be a late birthday/housewarming party. Hopefully by then the kids will have some new friends in the neighborhood to invite. In fact while I'm thinking of it I might as well look up playgroups in that area....

I still don't have my license but once the windshield and everything gets fixed on our "new" car I'm going to practice parallel parking, read the new driver's book to make sure I don't unknowingly do something illegal during the test, then as soon as we have the money I'll get my permit and set up the test. God I get a little nervous just thinking about taking the test... I just definitely won't go back to the same place because the woman that failed me the only time I took the test was staring coldly at me like she had no soul and was trying to take mine! *shudders* ehhuheuh...(onomatopoeia is not my specialty but that's the best i got for the sound you make when someone creeps you out and you shake it off lol)

The kids' get together is on October 24th, 2009 at 3pm at our apartment and chances are I'll be working that morning! ugh*rolls eyes* but my mom and sister are planning to come help tom get everything ready that needs to be...I haven't decided what we are going to be eating though...

pizza is expensive and they no longer deliver to our complex because at least one delivery guy got robbed and they decided they weren't going to put their drivers in danger even though it happened at another complex too so it wasn't an isolated incident... but they probably stopped delivering to there too. And yes word must travel fast because all the pizza places stopped delivering here almost immediately!

I could make subs but i want to have a nice casual get together at our apartment and not be slaving over the stove.

I think I might just have my mom bring a card table to set up with lettuce, tomato, mayo, turkey, ham, peanut butter, jelly, butter, salami, and bread so everyone can just make their own sandwiches. That way it could be setup the whole time and people can eat whenever they get hungry. I think that'll be our best bet.

My sister and mom are making two cakes for the get together. One is going to be rocket from the little einstein's based on the design in the picture at the top of this page www.andreasrecipes.com/2006/11/11/little-einsteins-rocket-birthday-cake/ but my sister really wants to make Leo, June, Quincy, and Annie out of fondant... I suggested marzipan but my mom said fondant is supposed to be easier... whatever I'm done arguing about it they have to deal with it not me. The other cake is going to be lightening mcqueen from cars which will be much easier seeing as they are going to use a wilton 3d cake pan from amazon and the dye kit for the icing. These cakes are my sister's gift to the kids... they were so excited when they saw the pictures of ideas for the cakes that they started freaking out and begging for lightening mcqueen and rocket cake! Just imagine when they get to see it right in front of them in person!

Oh I almost forgot the kids both learned to do somersaults on October 6th, 2009 when Aiden accidentally fell over while standing and putting his head on the ground so I taught him that that was called a somersault. Keeley then stood with her head on the floor so I taught her to push off with her feet and here's the video of what she got out of me saying push up with your feet.

So much has been going on and I never renewed my lj subscription so I really died out on writing in my journal. But I really need to write in it to help me remember how I have been feeling and remember little events that my horrible memory would lose track of very quickly otherwise.

It's impossible to sit down and type a long entry or even a short entry catching up this journal at this point. I will do my best though.

First things first, what is going on right now?

A lot of things have been going on... my marriage has been really shitty and in general I've been stressed out to the max. I got a job at American Greetings in the mall last time I posted an entry and I really do like it a lot... but a job is a job and does not come without stress. Especially when you haven't worked outside the home in 3 years and you miss your kids and it was supposed to be part time but starts out at 28-38 hours and keeps going at 38 hours. The least amount of hours I ever got was 22 and it was only one week.  It's been hell on my body and mind standing for that long and just in general not being used to a working schedule let alone an unpredictable working schedule where I could work 10 hours one day and 4 hours the next and close one night then have to come in and open the store in the morning. I need to go to bed at a decent time and get up at a decent time on a regular basis... as much as I like sleeping in if I go to bed on time it won't be necessary. I have had chest pains that stop me in my tracks and a toothache that acts up when I eat sugary things or drink something cold... so all the time pretty much! Well it's mainly the really bad pain just when I bite into something sweet and it hits that tooth just right... I am headed toward having the same critical spinal problems as my mom because of the stupid futon we are sleeping on... that will be changed when we move again but for now I just have to deal.

We are moving to Taylor December first, 2009. Near the kroger on Ecorse and Monroe, the house is on ziegler. It's nice because we will have a decent sized backyard with a little shed. The house is itty bitty but we can make it work for the 6 months or so we are supposed to be living there.

Chances are Tom will be joining the Army and he'll be doing PT for 3 months before he goes to boot camp, then he'll be in boot camp and MOS training for about 3 months before he gets assigned to a base... hopefully in south carolina. That is happening if he doesn't find a job before we move.

My sister is in florida and has been now for a couple months... right around the time I started working I think. She is coming to visit for a week soon then going to new york to visit our cousin timmy who I have yet to see since 10th grade... I'm not going to get to see him but I'm at peace with that now because I've decided if he's not willing to go out of his way to come see me or even call me why should i even try to go through the huge ordeal of going to see him just to be glared at by his wife... oh yeah and BTW he's not really our cousin he is our mom's best friend's son and they have just been friends with my mom so long they became like family... and my sister and I always had a crush on him when we were younger so... yeah it's weird but his jealous wife has never liked me... of course it made a lot more sense when I talked to him on the phone for 5 hours in 2006 and found out he had wanted to date me but didn't know I returned the feelings and he was afraid of losing my parents respect because I'm 6 years younger than him. So chances are that had been mentioned to her long before I found out. Oh yeah and I don't know if my sister is going to go back to florida after that or what but i'm pretty sure she isn't coming back to michigan until end of october.

My husband got in a car accident with my poor purple plymouth breeze and it's totaled. He got scratched up and was sore for a while but he's okay. Our friend Chuck has been taking me to work all the time anyways but now we don't have a car. The volvo isn't running and we don't know why. Still trying to figure that out.

I was going to quit working by the end of september but now I'm working til October 30th because we are staying at the apartment longer than I thought and Tom has agreed to cooperate and help with potty training keeley. The big bummer is that I probably won't get a chance to make git hoodies as costumes for all four of us let alone just myself but I'll be making money toward a car and filing bankruptcy and just a general cushion.

I was a stay at home mother to my 2 toddlers until 2 months ago when I broke down and took a minimum wage job at a greeting card store.

Just over six months ago my husband was laid off permanently from the IT company he had worked for just over a year. It was very sudden, nobody saw it coming including my husband's boss! When he came home early as soon as he walked in the door I knew what had happened...

You see, this was not the first time he had been suddenly fired due to downsizing. In fact it has become all too familiar! We have been married 3 and a half years and once a year he has lost a job to downsizing with no warning. That's 3 jobs in 3 years!

When he lost the first job he had another job lined up right away. The second job was harder to deal with losing and we went 3 months with no unemployment or anything except for family help and food assistance(which does not cover diapers or formula BTW)while my daughter was still a newborn. Our car got repossessed and we got evicted from our apartment... we were fortunate enough to have family who could lend us the money to move to a cheaper apartment near a promising job opportunity(which happens to be the job he just lost). Then he got the IT job because his brother worked there and got him an interview. Before we had struggled even when he was working so when he got his IT job(a salary job) we finally had a stable paycheck. The loss of this stability that I had finally grown accustomed to just weeks before he was let go... well let's just say I wasn't calm when he came home early telling me he lost his job.

We have now been on unemployment and food assistance for over 6 months. We had been driving an 89 volvo until it slowly started having more and more problems with it. We found a car for $500 that ran well and needed minor fixes and got 38 MPG so we jumped on the opportunity. It did have problems that came up but overall nothing that made it not worth the money we paid. I finally had a car I felt safe putting my kids in!

So what's the problem? Well 3 days ago my husband made a quick trip to the store and while exiting the parking lot to come back home, a teenager driving with a cast hit him. He totaled both his car and ours... and my husband got the ticket! Nobody was seriously injured but my husband is still pretty sore and a little scraped up too.

We haven't got a safe car to drive and my friend has actually had to drive me to work everyday since the accident. If he wasn't unemployed I wouldn't be able to get to work at all. I still have not managed to get my license even though I am 23. I tried to take the test once but failed because of the parallel parking part. Before and after that time we have not had the time to allow me to practice parking, the car to allow me to take the test(volvo won't cut it), or the money to pay for the test.

I'm at a loss for things to do right now. One thing after another has made things increasingly depressing and it really hard to stay in high spirits when you can't even take your kids to visit their grandparents 45 minutes away let alone go to the grocery store without asking someone else to take us. PLEASE HELP US!

Here is a link to the 300 word one where you can vote for me to help toward me getting a free car.

Woohoo!!! I got a job as an entry level manager at American Greetings in Great Lakes Crossing mall. It only pays $8 per hour and it's 15-20 hours per week minimum and I'll get 40 hours per week whenever the manager or assistant manager takes a vacation which the manager told me today that they both have a couple weeks vacation scheduled each that is coming up. YAY!!! Now I have to go shoe shopping for a pair of dress shoes that aren't open toed... hopefully some comfortable heels because when the district manager comes we have to wear heels and I only have uncomfortable open toed heels. I'm just so excited to have a job again and have it not be food service... but the fact that I am starting as a manager in training is excellent too because it gives me better potential for a higher paying job from them or any company hiring a manager in the future.

http://www.tafkab.org/media/puff/Peter_Paul_&_Mary_-_Puff_The_Magic_Dragon.mp3

Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called honah lee,
Little jackie paper loved that rascal puff,
And brought him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff. oh

Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called honah lee,
Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called honah lee.

Together they would travel on a boat with billowed sail
Jackie kept a lookout perched on puffs gigantic tail,
Noble kings and princes would bow wheneer they came,
Pirate ships would lower their flag when puff roared out his name. oh!

Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called honah lee,
Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called honah lee.

A dragon lives forever but not so little boys
Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys.
One grey night it happened, jackie paper came no more
And puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.

His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain,
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane.
Without his life-long friend, puff could not be brave,
So puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave. oh!

Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called honah lee,
Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called honah lee.

Ok I don't really want a divorce. Right now divorce would mean that I gave up on our marriage and I'm not quite ready to do that. But I feel like he has given up on caring about my feelings until they are already hurt. He seems careless about what he says and makes me feel paranoid everytime i bring up a concern like wanting to take the kids to the doctor or not wanting to use the cry it out method or worrying about starting aiden in preschool in September because of the swine flu going around. It's like he always has to be right. The main reason this is such a problem now is because until now I was still developing my own ideas and feeling my way through parenting... now it seems like since I'm developing my strong ideas and not getting any real positive feedback from him I'm starting to realize he's not always as flexible and knowledgeable as he thinks he is. He a;so likes to bring up fun little ideas and present them as if he really wants to make them happen but then gets upset when I start trying to make those ideas happen. Even if I wanted to leave him I couldn't... I'm screwed!! My mom said it just wouldn't work... we couldn't all live together again. So if I left him I'd have no place to go. And i keep going through cycles of wanting to leave but then talking myself down and thinking about the consequences and telling myself we just need to work on it. I feel like I'm becoming my mom. I don't want that to happen. I can;t stand the way my mom acts with my dad and the fact that they barely see each other and they practically live separate lives just living in the same house and sleeping in same bed out of convenience. I may be in an emotionally abusive relationship again... nothing like when i was with dave but still emotionally abusive. I don't know though because being in the relationship could be keeping me blind but I may be looking for flaws because I'm unhappy. And I can't have anyone judge from my journal or conversations on the phone with me because that's biased in my favor of course. And I don't think my neighbor and his friend(Caleb and Chuck) would be the best judge either because they'd probably be afraid to be honest if the weren't biased in either mine or tom's favor. ARG!!!! Tom actually said I should get a sugardaddy and was serious. He said he's okay with it if I get a sugar daddy as long as he buys me a house! LOl

Okay so I know we are unemployed and our budget is tight. I know I'm supposed to be depressed about this. And I have been. But all of sudden I started coming out of it. It started with me wanting to cook. When I wanted to cook I don';t mean just mac n cheese. I started wanting to cook a full dinner. I started wanting to make healthier foods. That was when I decided to cook for Mark and Jessie and their kids one night and then Rob, carol, and robbie the next night(that ended up not happening but I still wanted to do it) and I just kept wanting to cook. Sure the meals have been simple things like seasoned steak, seasoned chicken, mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli and asparagus. It's not much but it's a start. Then yesterday I really knew it was the beginning of a huge change when I made the decision to stay home alone with the kids while Tom went to his dad's. I was planning on going to my mom's but it would have required staying the night and it was more trouble than it's worth... but normally I still would have done it or at least tried to. I just decided it wasn't worth it and I could handle staying home alone no problem. That was a big deal for me... of course om didn't understand how it was such a big deal because sexually things haven't improved drastically yet. I don't know what changed but I'm pretty sure my hormones are regulating finally.

Well I decided that because I'm coming out of the depression stage what could be better than finally getting a family vacation. So I'm still working out whether or not we can do it but we are planning on going to florida(driving) from May 10th, 2009 to May 16th or 17th, 2009. I talked to my aunt and she's thrilled... I hope we can do it but of course when i got the number from my mom and told her why she got upset. "Who's dime are you doing that on?!" She just can't let me be an adult and make my own decisions. She can never just be happy with me for me. No she instead has to make me feel guilty about it and ruin the good feeling I have about it. I suppose she's jealous or thinking I'm not responsible but kiss my butt it's my life and just because I'm on assistance doesn't mean I have to be depressed and never spend any money. And she certainly can't talk about spending money when she is always worried about my dad losing his job and then she keeps buying stuff she doesn't need.

Okay so a lot has been going on recently. We looked into some manufactured homes and found the most perfect home that unfortunately has a pending lease on it. We are waiting to see if that falls through because the property manager promised to contact us first if it did. If it doesn't fall through we are just planning to see what becomes available by mid may. I am so excited because it will be much more affordable than I thought and standard at this place they have 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, washer and dryer and all appliances included and the square footage is 1,100 minimum. These are rent to own so we wouldn't be just throwing our money away anymore and it looks like they all have sheds too. Some have fireplaces and jacuzzi tubs and large kitchens and dining rooms like the one we fell in love with. I am working on figuring out the paint colors and stuff with the one we love in mind and figuring if need be I'll adapt it from there.

Mark and Jessie, our friends with the kids the same age as our kids, are moving this weekend. I am watching the kids for them and they are all going to have their first sleepover here saturday night. Am I crazy? maybe but Aiden and Skylar will probably fall asleep together they way they have been lately. They are always asking to go see each other and Aiden even cried when he had to get off the phone with him and go to bed! They can both clearly say each other's names. I call it their little bromance. LOL

The kids finished their ear infection meds last night and hopefully it cleared up the infection... I need to make a follow up appointment for next friday.

I have started trying to become a paid blogger. I started this blog:

Http://motherknowsbest.blogspot.com

I made it to be a guide to becoming a paid blogger sorta. But it's become more of a journal of me learning about and hopefully becoming a paid blogger.

Here is one of my most developed paid blogging site stuff:



Please visit this stuff even if you just click and don't read it. Every visit helps increase my traffic and gets me that much closer to getting paid for this stuff.

Thanks everybody and yes I am up late but I'm not waking up with the kids and I'm going to bed after this anyways.

Okay so my car is purple... for once my color blind husband was right. I love it and I just sat in it for the first time today. Didn't start it or anything but I sat in the passenger seat with Keeley and Aiden sat in the driver's seat and tried to honk the horn and turn the steering wheel. And I'm pimping it all put in gir car mats, gir seat covers, and a gir steering wheel cover. I am also going to make an antenna topper of gir out of some sort of ball cuz i hate the flat ones i found and i want to make a 3d one. On top of that I'm getting motivated with a lot of stuff and i have decided to finally make a gir hoodie. I'm starting by making one for keeley, then Aiden, then me, then Tom. My mom sounded weirded out when i told her because i've never been the sewing type but it's because I never had the motivation let alone any real reason to sew. See I loved it in middle school but i didn't really like the patterns and stuff we had... I really want to make gir hoodies and make them look good so that's why I'm starting with Keeley's first... smallest so shortest time to make. I'm actually going to use one of her hoodies that i bought from walmart to design the basic hoodie and go from there. Then once I've made all those I should be good enough to make one for my sister for christmas or her birthday depending on how long it takes me to do all this stuff lol. Oh and we are transferring the plates and insurance from the volvo to my car until the volvo is completely done getting fixed up. Then when i get my own plate for the car I'm getting a personalized plate for it professing my love to gir or expressing one of the many sayings of his I know and love.


Some jokes to brighten your day

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A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"




Some ecclesiastical gentlemen -- a cardinal, a couple of bishops and some others -- were waiting outside the Pearly Gates for St. Peter to open up.

He finally arrived, but just they were about to enter heaven St. Peter asked them to wait a moment and let a new arrival through first.

A sweet young thing in a mini-skirt arrived and was ushered through.The cardinal was a bit upset about this and demanded an explanation from St. Peter. After all, they had been waiting outside for quite some time and were pillars of the church. How could a girl in a mini-skirt deserve better treatment?

St. Peter smiled and told him: "While she was alive, that young lady drove a little yellow sports car. She regularly jumped red lights, overtook on blind corners, and generally scared the devil out of more people than all of you combined."

Woohoo I have a car i lost my job but i didn't really want it anymore anyways. The kids have an ear infection... Aiden had one and went on antibiotics but it obviously didn't get it all cuz the one ear is still infected but i think it's the one that was really bad and drove his fever up to 103.8 so it makes sense. Keeley has been drilling her ears with her fingers and getting nasty yellow eye boogers and they have both been coughing. So the pediatrician said to give them the antibiotic and come back in three weeks. All the symptoms seem to be from the ear infection he says. And when we take them back they have to get up to date on their shots.



I want this hairstyle but with my two long pieces in the front and all bleached and then dyed red like when my hair was long.

Okay so I started working at Lu Lu Whites a week ago saturday(in other words my first day at work was march 21st) and I'm already wishing i had another job lined up so I could quit. It's not the worst job in the world but I get 25 hours maximum and I'm only getting paid 7.40 per hour before taxes. The owner opened the restaurant 3 weeks ago. She has never run a restaurant before. It showed but things seemed to always work out until friday... three workers including myself and the owner were there for the 4- close shift. We had a huge rush and the whole tiny front area was filled with customers waiting for orders. Things got so haotic and disorganized that orders were messed up, people were gettng impatient and wanting refunds, ll of us were arguing, 4 refunds were issued, someone from little ceasars next door came to return undercooked fried chicken!, and probably a lot of people ended up just not bothering to complain and won't come back. After the rush was finally gone the owner got us all together and started laying down the blame and yelling at us. I got yelled at fr coming in the back at all because i was taking orders and ringing them up but duh I had to go in back to hang the orders up and then to get the tickets to double check that the orders were filled right because the woman filling them kept not passing the tickets through with the orders. I also got yelled at for asking alex to come up in front when he was supposed to stay at the fryer and do only the frying but I never asked him to come up front he just decided to on his own. I didn't say anything because i don't feel like being the whiney excuses persn laying blame on everyone else... but alex later that night started trying to whip me with a wet towel and wouldn't listen when I told him to stop because he was going to make me fall trying to get away from him. So I had to pretend I was going to do it back to him to get him to leave me alone. So I literally pretended.. I didn't even make the real rat tail out of the towel and just walked toward him. The next night I was working with the girl who hired me and the boss yelled at me for that incident. It pisses me off because she waited til the next night to say anything and didn't say anything to alex the one who was whipping me with the towel repeatedly. So sure I'm not perfect and I did make mistakes during the rush and I had to pretend to be horsing around to stop alex from whiping me but she grumbling behind my back said look I'm a mother and have children your age so thats like oh great that's gonna help my job. I'm just a child to her. I'm young but I'm not a child and I can;t stand being treated like one. Plus her ex bf that she broke up with just before I got the job, because he started trying to run the business and yelling and cussing at one of the other employees while there were customers in the store no less, randomly started coming in again. He came into the back and started washing his hands friday like he was an employee that beonged there and I didn't know who he was so alex told me and the owner didn't do anything about it but gripe about him being a jerk and an asshole while he was on the roof fixing her exhaust fan! He got leftover food out of the garbage and fed it to his dog in the car but he's a rich genius jerk. She acts like she hates him behind his back but then when I was working with the woman who hired me on saturday and the owner had gone home he came in and asked if the owner was there and if she'd be in that night. The woman that hired me, Jessica, replied no to all and gave him the evil eye the whole time because she was the manager there when he cussed out the 17 year old worker. We got a call from the owner later asking if he had shwed up and then she told jessica " I wish you'd just give him a chance. He really likes you." what the hell?! She says he's a jerk and she hates his guts and can't stand him but she wants her manager to "give him a chance"?! She's been getting more and more disorganized instead of improving. Yesterday I had to call around and find somebody to take my shift because we are buying a car for me and we had to meet the guy selling it at 2pm in dearborn and i had to work at 3pm. I found somebody to work for me and asked if that would be okay with her and she made note of the fact that she had put the ad out in the oakland press and the phone was rnging off the hook and she wanted to know if there was any particular reason I was taking the day off. I told her I knew I would have to be late no what so I fgiured I would just get someone to cover my shift. She said okay and said she'd call the guy and have him call me if he agreed to work my shift. I didn't hear from her so I called him and talked to him about it. He had just woken up but he agreed to cover my shift and I called her and told her and she said "well here's the problem I'm not hapy with his performance.... I don't what's going on with you but... I'll call him can you give me his number I only have his mom's number..." I gave it to her but she should have had that already. Basically it sounded like she was ready to fire me but I knew she wouldn't until she found a replacement anyways. Then today I had to call in because we were supposed to be driving my new car home and I spent the night in dearbrn. The problem is that the car needs new brakes but the lugnuts are broken and require a power tool to get the tires off. So we have to have the car towed to rob's so they can use his powertools and fix the brakes. Well my mom cant take me home because she has to pick up my sister from work at 3pm and it was already 2pm. So I couldn't get to work and I called and told her this and offered to try to get someone to work for me because my car broke down... yeah i lied but i didnt feel like explaining all the stuff to her and it wouldn't make any difference either way. She said I need someone dependable and I said I know I understand but then she went on to say that se also wanted someone to be able to be there alone with the kids(the 15, 16, and 17 year old) so she wouldn't always have to be there a which point I said if you want someone to be able to yell at the kids then you will have to find someone else. I mean what the hell I was hired as a cashier not a manager and at 7.40 per hour I'm sure as hell not going to manage the store for her. Not that I'm incapable but yeah I am so not going to give way my management services. She kinda stammered obviously surprised by my honesty and unwillingness to bow to her every whim then said ok well I'll talk to you tomorrow. Which I'm not working tomorrow so I'm not sure what she meant exactly but I guess one way or another I still have to get one more check from her and she probably wants me to keep working until she can find someone to replace me.... she didn't really say. So basically goodbye job hello job hunting again. But at least I'll have my own car, be able to get a license after plenty of practice and readig of the book they give you at the secretary of state when you get your permit.

Besides I was really not feeling safe at this job anymore. A woman came in saturday night with a 4 year old boy and sat down to feed him pizza and screamed at him for talking at all and told him to hurry up and eat and kept talking to customers about the restaurant that used to be there. Then the lttle boy shoved the last of his pizza in his mouth and she screamed and swore at him for that. After she left Jessica told me that she was sure that the woman was on crack or something similar and was on a bad trip. We needed to take the garbage out but it was starting to get dark so she wouldn't let me go out back to ut it in the dumpster because there a bunch of creepy bums that hang out back there at night I guess and they are usualy drunk. And we even saw that woman again walking through the parking lot asking for money but the little boy was nowhere to be seen! It's just inside of pontiac but I never really thought of it as a bad area until I started working there. I guess until I started working there this bum was coming in and taking the bottles and cans and turning them in for the owner and stuff but the he started coming in drunk and begging her for money everyday promising to pay it back even though it seemed like he didn't even know he had asked for it and been turned down the day before. So am I sad about losing this job? Not really. Actually I'm glad because now I don't have to quit and I can just say I lost the job due to unreliable transportation and we got a new car so that won't be a problem at a different job.

I'm gonna apply at Aldi's, Forever 21, meijer, and walmart because at least those are bigger companies and I won't have to wory about them going under like LuLu Whites.

I just got a new phone and so did Tom and we are going to be adding Mark and Jessie to our plan tomorrow(they are supposed to pay us a couple months up front because they got their taxes back so we won't be in danger of having to pay their bills that way) and I'm just so excited because the kids did so well at daycare and I really need to go to bed now but I'm gonna get everything together so they kids are definitely ready to go on time in the morning and I'm making tom get up with them if they don't sleep in lol. We still have the old phone but I'll have a new number and tom will too... it's complicated but I'll be sure to notify everyone of my new number don't worry... if you don't know my new number and think I forgot to tell you in all my chaotic plans then email me or reply tot his entry and remind me:)

I hate forwarding emails but sometime the jokes are worth reading for a laugh so I'm going to start posting the ones I like in my journal... mostly kids and moms kind of stuff but I like some of the dirty ones too LOL

WHY GOD MADE MOMS Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.
What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy..
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad..
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

So Brooke is okay YAY!!! and we are looking into adding 3 lines onto my metro pcs.. one for tom and and one each for mark and jessie. Okay I know I've been screwed over before but with metro I can't get screwed because you either pay or you don't simple as that. No contract or anything like that. We are still going to look into the house on scott lake and see if we can do that and have them live with us because it is up for rent to own now.

So today's tasks are:

1)Pay rent
2)get list of driving schools to take my driver's test at and call them for estimates.
3)Get number for scott lake rent to own house and see if we can do a walk through.
4)Go to metro pcs and find out if you can transfer a virgin mobile phone and number to their service and how much it will be to add three lines.
5)get 6 leads(JET program requirement)
6)go to national coney island for lunch and use gift certificates
7)get estimate from secretary of state for my driver's permit.
8)pick up kids by 6pm at the latest and find out how their first day went. Plan on picking up at 4pm.


Things I need to do soon but not necessarily today(sometime this week though)
1)set up appointment to get kids shot records from pediatrician for daycare records
2)transfer resume from 3 1/2 floppy to email and my own computer.
3)find out what is going on for saturday for my mom's birthday.
4)find way to let kids sign card to my mom without them wanting to play with it because it makes sound and I don't want them breaking it.
5)Sign card to mom that says happy 30th and she is so not turning 30.
6)Go grocery shopping when we get our bridge card in the mail.
7)go to great lakes crossing and pick up paper applications from all the stores for leads.
8)Apply to phone sex operator jobs for leads and possibility of actually doing the job
9)apply to TCF bank for teller job
10)apply to jobs found in the paper for leads and some possibility of actually getting the job and doing it.
11)hopefully signup and set up the other three lines on metropcs account.
12)do a thorough cleaning of the apartment again.(a lot easier after having scoured it prectically before our friends came saturday while the kids were napping_
13)go through kids toys and get rid of anything broken
14)Sort through toys and get it cut down to one bin of toys at most
15)get toy boxes from aldis and start sorting aiden and keeley's toy into appropriate boxes
18)sort and file all bills and papers
19)organize JET program papers and such in binder
20)pull money from unemployment and put it in bank account
21)find w2s from last year and if not just file with h and r block anyways
22)Relax on saturday and have fun drinking it up with mom and Jessie at karaoke after a long hard week...
23)budget according to asisstance and unemployment income for this month and next month
24)Buy lysol
25)start making lunch day before and having ready to heat up in between getting leads done
26)remind mark and jessie that they can use our computers after the JET class each day
27)remind tom to get specifics and estimates for building april's computer
28)bask in the glow of being the smart one in the JET program and continue helping people when they need it. It is so awesome to be so needed there! They should seriously hire me as a helper!

Okay I made this a separate post from the one earlier because it is a totally different subject and train of thought and day. This was on Saturday. See I still have not gotten any playgroup meetings organized and very rarely go to McDonald's play place anymore so when I met my new friends I was so excited.

We met them in the JET program actually. The girl is the same age as me and is like a little more punk alternative style than I am. Her husband is 29 and you can tell he is older in a lot of ways but he is still really cool and we just hit it off all together. They have a 1 year old girl and 2 year old boy just like us(the 2 year old is actually 2 years and 4 months just like Aiden but born in October instead of early November) And their little girl is chubby like Keeley with blue eyes and their little boy is strong and obsessed with trucks like Aiden with brown eyes too. They have a lot of the same character traits and everything. It's kinda creepy and so cool at the same time. Lucky for them they have more family help because they live closer to them. Unlucky for them they are having problems getting approval for unemployment and their grandma is their landlord and she is kicking them out for only being able to make partial payments. I want to help but I can't do anything. We are stuck here until may and then we are thinking about moving to Westland to be closer to my parents or hopefully possibly getting this rent to own house just down the street from my BIL's house. The rent to own house is a house we wanted to buy and fix up because it is a 6 bedroom house! If we could get that maybe we could help them out but we need a job first too.

Well anyways, they came over with their kids on Saturday. The kids were really shy at first... all of them not just their kids ours too. Keeley was hiding behind the bins by our bookcase and peeking around them at the kids then whipping behind the bins again. She took a while to come out by me then wanted in my lap but I told her no. Eventually they stood just out of reach both offering the other a toy(Keeley and Brooke their little girl were doing this I mean) neither wanted to be the first to accept the toy. Before long they were running around playing like crazy. Aiden and the little boy Skylar hit it off pretty quick because they both love trucks and Skylar went right for the truck box and soon dumped it so they were off and running around with trucks while the girls were still unsure of everything. Everything went great. We put the girls in the high chairs and set up the kids folding table with the two kids folding chairs in front of the tv on the puzzle mat. They ate chicken nuggets for dinner and we got Pizza. I went out to get pizza and took forever because I wanted to get chili fries for myself and the family restaurant next to pizza hut had tomato chili not bean chili. There were two coney island restaurants I tried next door to each other but they were both closed. I was going to try the next family restaurant I saw but I decided to just go to Ram's Horn rather than striking out again and having to go there anyways. They charge over $5 for 2 cups of chili when I only asked for one and I just wasn't really thinking about it because I was trying to hurry up and get back with the pizza by then. I was heading back and realized I forgot to get the pop for our guests so I stopped at Kroger and ended up getting 3 2 liters of coke products because they were the only ones that were on sale that I saw at a glance so I got Sprite, Fanta orange, and regular coke for $4. Then I finally got home and of course they were worried and asked if I got pulled over and even asked if I was lying when I said no because I still don't have my license. The kids had eaten but Caleb was there when I got back and none of us adults had eaten. So we sat down and ate and the kids each were given a piece of pizza but they wanted more chicken nuggets so I had to make those. Then I ran to the bathroom and when I got out Keeley needed changing. I was going to do it but Jessie(the mother who is looking for a daycare job) said don't worry I'll do it go ahead and eat even though Keeley was thoroughly poopy. I sat down to eat and got attacked by a very tired whiny demanding Aiden wanting my fries and then Keeley wanting my corn and Brooke came over and started eating my corn too. So at least I still got most of my fries and all of my chicken strips. Tom ended up eating my salad later on though of course:( but it didn't look as good as I had hoped so whatever... at least Tom ate some greens which is a miracle cuz he never does and usually hates the idea of salad but he said it sounded good. Well the whole day went great and Aiden didn't have any accidents that I know of(tom got him ready for bed so I don't know if he was wet or anything but he probably would have told me if he was) and the kids just loved the whole day and were very tired by the time they left. The only bad thing was that Brooke was in the kids room with the boys and they closed the door and nobody except Jessie who was in the bathroom could hear her screaming... which is weird because I always hear that stuff. But I heard her whining a little at the door and jumped up running down the hall to find her just on the other side of the door with a huge bump on her head. I thought she had a mark on her head on that bump and that was it... like something rubbed off on her but she had a huge goose egg on her head and a line in the middle of it that was actually a bad bruise. It looked like she had to have hit her head on the side of the door as the boys were trying to close it or something. I felt terrible and I know these things happen and she wasn't even upset or crying and didn't even act like it hurt her anymore. I just felt so bad and tried to get her to let any one of us put ice on it(an ice pack wrapped in a burp cloth) but we all tried and she refused. The just said they'd take her home and give her Motrin for the pain and swelling and she'd be fine. I really hope she is okay... I'm sure she is but I just never saw a kid her age get such a bad bump or bruise on their head like that. I was worried about a concussion later when I thought about it but she seemed fine... I just hope she really was. They don't have a phone right now because they just had a virgin mobile phone and couldn't afford the minutes. We will see them in the JET program in the morning so I can ask but my mind keeps going to the worst case scenario like she got a concussion her brain swelled and she died in her sleep. If they don't show up tomorrow I will be freaking out for sure. This is not a program you miss for no reason. Mark is her husband and he missed because of an asthma attack but aside from that or a job interview you have to be there or risk losing your assistance.

I'm sure they'll be there and we will laugh it off later but right now I'm calmly panicking... Well I'm tired and my mind hates me for being up and it's going over and over is Brooke okay of course she's okay what are you crazy but what if she isnt what the hell am i gonna say and id feel like it was my fault and omg i could be the reason their daughter dies... etc etc I know it's all crazy crap but it's what is going through my head. I sure hope they are there tomorrow... I better try to go to bed since I have to wake up with the kids and call daycare and tom has to get their stuff together while I call and we need to get them there by 7:30am so they have some free time to play with the kids before free play ends at 8am plus I have some questions and maybe some things the finish on the paperwork too. night all

Oh yeah and Jessie might be driving me to my mom's to go to Karaoke for my mom's birthday. As in we would all be going to karaoke together! YAY! And the boys will be hanging out playing video games together and watching the kids. Woo hoo friends for me, tom, and the kids!

I am so overwhelmed with the kids when Tom isn't home I was beginning to think about going back to work because I just couldn't handle it anymore. But I don't want my kids to be raised by daycare if I can help it. So we decided to try putting the kids in daycare 2 full days a week to give me a break... let me sleep in catch up on housework and just relax... if I can allow myself to even do that. Well that is this will all go into affect after Tom gets a job. One way or another I still plan to apply for a couple phone sex operator jobs and work on weekends if it is a shift oriented one or a couple hours a night if it is just a work when you have the time kind of one. That could pay for the daycare and give us extra money for savings and pocket money. It is an exciting idea at the very least. I'm certain the kids will love it because I know they really like being around other kids but don't get to enough. They might sleep better in general too because they would be more active with the whole being around so many other kids and Aiden will even be in school! We have to do the daycare while we are in the JET program because otherwise we will never get the hours in that we need and we could and, according to notices, would lose our assistance because of not complying with the program. Our assistance starts Monday so we have four weeks of the JET program after that and then if we still don't have a job we have to do community service. I'm worried about getting a job but hopefully tom will have a job by Monday because the last interview he went to said they'd notify him by then basically and he was the only one they interviewed that was not way over qualified. The other people had certifications that would qualify them to make $200,000 per year and this job only offers up to $55,000. So even though they may be willing to settle for 55,000 the employer looks at that and worries that they may find a better job and just up and leave... so Tom should get the job no problem. They may be taking longer to decide though because we really thought we'd hear something by Friday when they were supposed to have made the decision because they wanted someone to start Monday.

I'm going to try to get a part time job so the kids can be in daycare but not be raised by daycare. Then I'll be getting out of the house without spending money and I'll actually be making money. Not making money the past three years has really bothered me. So I could make enough money to cover daycare and hopefully have some left over as spending money as long as Tom gets a job too.

I worry that the JET program may work quicker for me than for him because I'm looking for something lower paying and entry level stuff. I'm looking into becoming an editor because I am just not ready or business savvy enough to do the online Typo Police company yet. Every time I think about finishing the site, and getting all the legalities worked out, I get so overwhelmed and never get started on it even. I want to become an editor for Red Dress Ink but their editors are more like promoters of the authors. They find the authors and organize the illustrations and get the author to do the editing! No wonder they have so many mistakes! I want to suggest to them that they create a new editing position simply for actually editing all the books that haven't yet been published. I mean the errors in these books are freaking horrible and so obvious to me that I can skim the book and find at least one if not three or more errors on every page! I love the content but really... they need to do something about these errors! I want to be the one to fix their books and I am tempted to go through the books I have and circle all the errors in red then send them one book a month with a note saying "I love your books but please let me edit them. Here is an example of the errors I can find easily and I would love to correct them if you hire me.:)-sincerely Megan G."
and then "P.S. Here is a copy of my resume for your review." The JET Program has helped me create an awesome editor's resume that reminds me of how the back of a book looks.

I am seriously tempted to do it but I don't know where to send them because E-Harlequin is the main company and Red Dress Ink is just a division of the company... Does anyone think this could work? I really doubt they'd even pay attention... but maybe they would? I mean as a publisher seeing one of your most popular publishing company's books being sent back to you after being read(obvious by fanned pages and then even more so when they see the ink in the book.) wouldn't you be curious? But would curiosity be enough to make them hire me?

Your toddler should ideally be between 18 and 22 months when this is done. You need to set aside about one week to spend at home with him, mostly sitting on the floor and watching him like a hawk for cues that he is about to go pee. The cues for poop are usually much easier. If you have a play room or family room, plan to spend the week in that area with your child. If you have carpeting, I recommend laying thick towels, quilts, or blankets down that can be easily washed. At the end of the week, you’ll need to do a good carpet cleaning.

I highly recommend the Once Upon A Potty book, the Once Upon A Potty DVD, and the Elmo’s Potty Time DVD right at 18 months. Rocco and I spent about three weeks watching and reading these daily before starting the official process. Rocco loved these and he did connect events in the book and on the DVD with his accomplishments several weeks later. In addition, we purchased the Baby Bjorn potty, which is very comfortable and easy to use, as well as easy to clean. Rocco liked the potty chair and spent several weeks sitting on it fully clothed thinking it was a nice chair.


Spend the day before you begin the actual teaching process explaining to your toddler that he will no longer be wearing diapers. Instead, he will be wearing big boy underwear and using his very own potty for pee and poop. Take him to the store and let him pick out about a dozen pairs of big boy underwear with his favorite characters. Rocco picked Elmo and Thomas the Train. The next morning, have the area set up with plenty of your toddler’s toys, books, DVDs, clean underwear, rewards, favorite foods, and lots of fluids. I recommend water and juice. You want your toddler to eat and drink as much as possible throughout the day. Treats are optional. Some children respond well to m&m’s or stickers. Others are fine with lots of hugs, kisses, and praise. At this age, toddlers are very eager to please. They are motivated to do things that make you happy, which is why this age range is so perfect for toilet learning.

When your toddler wakes up, take off his diaper and have him “help” you take all of the diapers out of the house. Put them in a big bag and explain that the diapers are going to the babies. Put regular underwear on your toddler, get down on the floor, and start watching. As soon as he grabs himself or you see wetness in his underwear, say “Oh, you’re going pee! Let’s put the pee in the potty! Great job!” Give him a ton of praise for even just a few drops of pee in the potty. Have him “help” clean the potty in the bathroom so he can see that the pee goes in the big toilet where Mommy and Daddy go. Expect to go through all the underwear in the first day. You’ll be washing them with the towels the first night.

You will notice fewer accidents each day. Our experience was 11 accidents the first day, seven accidents the second day, and one accident the third day. By the fourth day, Rocco was walking to the potty on his own when he got that feeling and there were no accidents. Poop did not click with him until day seven. Day eight was a perfect day and after that we resumed our normal activities, including visiting the park and having lunch out. Rocco never wore another diaper after that first day. I chose not to attempt nighttime training at this age. That is a different process, so I purchased a set of cloth training pants for overnight use only, so Rocco would not be confused by using diapers. By age two years, Rocco was dry five out of seven nights, so it comes on its own in due time.

Thanks for reading~Sidney

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